Journey to Bulembu: The 2020 Blog

I am honored to announce that I’m going to be providing editorial and guest writing support to The 2020 Blog for Bulembu International. Together, we’ll explore the many ways Bulembu is working toward becoming a self-sustaining community by the year 2020.

Here’s a look at my first post! And as always, thanks to everyone for your support and encouragement!

A main priority in restoring and transforming Bulembu is to help its citizens and neighbors get on their feet and provide for themselves through education and jobs. This never-ending circle not only benefits the individual but the community and the entire nation of Swaziland through the economy as well as preparing for the next generation of leaders. Read more…

Me with my traveling companion, Monique and Sibusiso, The Bulembu Country Lodge Manager

Journey to Bulembu

Anytime our church had a guest who spoke on the topic of going into the world’s mission fields, I was always the one person who would slink down into the pew as far as I could (without actually hitting the floor) so that God couldn’t see me. I was always petrified that He would call me to become a missionary, and that was the last thing on my “things that sound like fun” list. While I admired missionaries, I always did so from a distance; to make sure whatever they had wouldn’t rub off on me.

As a writer, I felt just fine telling the stories of other people who were doing God’s work in the mission fields from the comfort of my own couch. I justified it as my own little mission field, doing God’s work from a laptop and in my pajamas. But then I was introduced to Bulembu.

Many of you have read my blogs about the tiny town in Swaziland. I’ve written about Bulembu’s plight on numerous occasions for nearly a year now, and telling their story has become a passion for me. Much of my work has consisted of spreading the word in order to generate support for various fundraising efforts such as Voices for Bulembu, the charity of the Canadian Tenors. And now I am blessed with an opportunity to go into the mission field that is Bulembu and serve the people of this town.

I will get to spend seven days working in the various communicate care and community enterprise systems, especially and including the orphanage and children’s intake and welcome center, where Bulembu’s most vulnerable and fragile orphans are cared for. I will also be writing various articles, continuing to tell the story of the work that is being done and the hope that is being restored.

The Bulembu Foundation is a not for-profit organization serving Jesus Christ by restoring hope to the people of Swaziland through community enterprise and community care. That is their mission. My mission is to go there to be among the people and learn as much as I can; minister to them while there and then return home to continue to tell their story through the written word to give hope to other people and nations.

I have been called, and I willingly accept the invitation. But, I am unable to go without financial assistance. I am now doing my own fundraising for this purpose and am praying for the resources to come through. If it is God’s desire for me to go – and I believe it is – I will have what I need.

I will be blogging about this Journey to Bulembu, no matter the outcome. I pray you’ll come along with me as I share my fears, frustrations, joys, triumphs and so much more from now until the trip, which will take place in March. And I will continue the blog while I’m in Bulembu. I’d love to hear your thoughts along the way. Ask questions, share comments. Let’s take this Journey to Bulembu together!

A Second Lease on Life

** I wrote this last week while visiting my family in SC. This is the first chance I’ve had to post it to my blog. **
Every time I sit down to start writing a blog post, I ask myself, “Why bother? Who really cares?”

Then I remember: I’m a writer! Lots of people with a lot less experience write blogs. Heck some are making money and are quite popular. I have things to say, and sometimes I even think they’re quite profound! I know how cathartic writing can be, and I know how well-written blogs can make a successful impact on businesses and lives. I encourage people to start blogs (and keep them updated) often. I encourage people to do all sorts of things that are going to be good for them, yet I often don’t take my own advice.

I hope to change that. I’m here in SC visiting with my parents for the second time in as many months. My father is still recovering from triple-bypass surgery last month. He’d had a heart attack in late January, which led to the surgery. His recovery has been difficult, at best, thanks to diabetes.

My father has been ill for as long as I can remember. And he’s had a negative outlook on life even longer than that. I believe his negative attitude has contributed to his decline in health. It seems that all he ever thinks about is how bad he feels. What a thing to think about! No wonder he seems depressed all the time.

After a couple of weeks in the hospital following surgery, dad came home for four days before he was sent back because of diabetes complications. This stay was for 10 days. Since he’s been home this time, he has had great moments and not-so-good moments, which is to be expected. Living so far away from my parents during this challenging time has been tough so I decided on a visit.

As I expected, my dad spends his day sitting at the kitchen table, mostly with his head in his hands, focused on how awful he feels. I brought movies, games and even a coloring book to try to get him to do something other than think and mope. He’s simply not interested. I know he wants to feel better. In many ways, he is getting better; he’s simply not seeing it. I believe healing also comes from being your own healthcare advocate. Take medicine. Walk. Do exercises. Change dressings. Rest and think positive thoughts!

My father has gotten a second lease on life! He’s got the opportunity to make some serious changes and to be well enough to do the things God has assigned for him to do with his remaining years. I don’t believe for one second that my dad is destined to sit around feeling like crap for the rest of his life. It’s my hope that I can encourage him to start making those changes and to prepare for a better life.

Thinking on all of these things regarding my dad has me thinking about my own life. I am my father’s daughter in many ways, including, at times, thinking negatively. My health isn’t entirely picture perfect either. And I know God has a plan for me, so why am I not doing it? I wonder. Perhaps this is a second lease on life for me as well. Perhaps me and my dad can take this journey together.

Are you ready for a second lease on life? What will you do with it?

Afraid of Going Back

I was so very excited when I started this blog. I didn’t think twice about the memories or the pain that might come back through those memories. In fact, I expected to find tremendous healing through the writing. I knew it might be painful but that’s why I call it the Journey Through the Great Sadness. It is a journey, and I expect to come out the other side well.

My PTSD symptoms came on not long after I relocated to Indianapolis nearly six years ago. The only problem is: I didn’t know that’s what was going on. I found ways of stifling what I was feeling. My husband and I and my wonderful mother-in-law took a trip to Iowa to see my brother-in-law and his friend three years ago. It was a wonderful long weekend with them but I can recall that as being the weekend where I started going downhill – fast. I can recall the overwhelming sadness and despair and pain. I still had no clue what was going on at that time. I just knew that what I was feeling was getting worse.

In recent days, I have struggled with those feelings again. Perhaps it’s knowing that the July 4th weekend marks the unofficial beginning of a painful journey. Perhaps it’s knowing the anniversary of the attack is just months away. I have felt a great deal of depression again although it ebbs and flows. (Today is a good day.) For that reason, I have been afraid of writing. I am afraid of going back to that place.

Part of me doesn’t want to think about it or talk about it or write about it. But I also know how cathartic it is for me to do all of these things.

My anxiety has been rather high too. The election is also a few months away and, for some reason, I can’t get it out of my head that there will be another attack either before the election or in the final days of President Bush’s term. My senses are heightened, and I hate that feeling. I don’t want to keep looking over my shoulders to see who is possibly going to do what. I don’t want to go to a public place to celebrate our Independence Day. As much as I love racing, I don’t want to be here when the NASCAR Cup series comes to town for the Brickyard 500. I don’t want to be any place where there are large gatherings. Isn’t that silly? To be afraid of being in public.

I know another attack will happen. It isn’t a matter of if but when. I don’t want to be there when it happens. I don’t want to see it, smell it, hear it, feel it.

I’m afraid of going back.